i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
