Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
