I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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