marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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