idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
