So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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