I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Drake has all the answers
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
