Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
