we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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