If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
