Yo dont text me then not text me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
