There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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