I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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