I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize