I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
