And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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