I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Come share oat with me in your robe
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
