just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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