no, he came in my armpit
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
