why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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