okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
MIDGETS
????
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
