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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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