dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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