i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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