Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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