You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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