North Korea, Best Korea!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
