you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
