I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
