This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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