My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am available for nakedness
COCAINE IS GR8
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize