I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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