My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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