i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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