can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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