Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
