dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
