yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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