it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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