i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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