the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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