dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
