My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize