Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
