8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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