Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
