this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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