O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
