I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
