So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
