census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
