i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
