woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
