just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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