Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
