I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
not ubering you a puppy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
