i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
