Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
