your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
