he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
