What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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