batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
