The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
