I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
