Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
