how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
