girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
